Family

I have worked a long time in the field of addiction. The lessons I learn from families are invaluable. They teach me, like the addict, how strong the disease of addiction is. They have become hooked on the drama of rescuer. We all sometimes get the delusion we can some how save the addict from themselves, if we just get them back into treatment just one more time they will be saved. What I experience is families working harder for their family member then the family member is working. Families somehow think their family member is incapable of helping themselves, until you remind them of the fact, if their family member wanted drugs no matter what they would find them. The fact being, the addict could be strung out, with no transportation and they would find a way to get drugs.

All too often I have watch people get clean when the family finally said no to them. When the family finally said go to the Salvation Army and call me when you get 6 months clean. As long as the family is willing to rescue the addict the cycle of addiction will continue.

What we do when we help one another is teaching the lesson of no. Teaching that no is a complete sentence. When we learn to set boundaries with the addict then the game and our part of the cycle are over. People tell me it is difficult to say no and I say to them it is more difficult to go to a funeral.

We teach one another to change the dream. Change the dream of your family member being out there in their addiction. Change the dream of you fantasy as savior and surrender to keeping your self centered and ready when your family member reaches out to you.