Mortality

The pain the disease causes is a ripple not affecting the addict; it is their family and friends. My brother passed away recently just after my visit with him. When I first was clean and sober, he had four years sober and then started to drink again so his wife at the time would not have to drink alone. These are one of the millions of excuses we make daily if we want to go back to denial and start using again. My brother had multiple operations before he died and was placed on Oxycontin. He mixed this with alcohol a nice combination.

Ever day I mourn his loss. He had two bronze stars and was buried with full military honors. I did fine during the ceremony until they played taps. The Universe has allowed me to live and gather some time clean and sober. I am grateful for the gift. At the same time I have heard hundreds of excuses as to why the individual chose one more time to use. The Ego's defiance in its disease is 'It won't happen to me' attitude. Way too many times have we received the 2AM call telling us once more another addict didn't make it back from 'One more time'. I am powerless over all those who choose to pick-up again. What we can do is continue to keep the seat warm and not use just today.

I have seen the devastation of the parents after the fact. Their pain rips your heart out. We never think about any one noticing we are gone. One more lie we tell ourselves. My ego wants to scream, my path teaches me to surrender and accept the Plan is perfect.