Discrimination

They have not issued the toxicology report for Whitney Houston. It really doesn't matter. She is no longer with us. As I read today she is a star and the disease does not care. I have worked with millionaires, professional athletes and movie stars. The disease in each case did not care who the person was. The disease killed them. Every person who dies from the disease of addiction, no matter what the form, teaches us. They teach us that using does not get any better out there. They teach that if we keep using we can end up dead just like them. 

I think daily of my first two sponsors, Michael and Paul. Paul was diagnosed with stomach cancer and from diagnosis to death was 90 days. He held meetings at his house until the last two weeks of his life. Two weeks before he died he took a new comer through the fourth step. Michael died six months after Paul. He reached out to others until the day he died. By the time he had died he had given away most of what he 'owned'. My daily prayer is that I can be like these two men. They always gave selfishly to others. They never asked for anything in return.

When we are using it is all about us. Our self-centered, egotistical being is what keeps us in our addiction. We externalized and blame the world. We do this while we take and take from everyone and everything around us. They say in meetings that if we continue to use we will meet one of three destinations, death, jails or institutions.

Please learn from all who have died from this disease. Re-member we are all teachers and we are all students.

Don't you know who I'am not

It appears that another star among us may or may not have overdosed. Ultimately it does not matter. What matters is the person is no longer with us. She has the disease of addiction. What is important is the disease is non-discriminatory. It does not care who you think you are, how famous you may or may not be, what the color of your skin is, what religion you are or how rich or poor you are. The disease has one goal and one goal only and that is to kill you. The disease will go to any lengths, tell any lie, or cheat you in order to reach the death goal. Our problem is us we tell ourselves ' I can do it one more time', 'I'm not an addict', 'it won't happen to me.' The sad commentary is the lies we tell ourselves is what robs and cheats us out of life.

We had a young man overdose and die in out sober living house. He had everything going for him. His family was behind him, he had a sponsor, was going to meetings, had a job and was about to turn pro as a mixed martial arts fighter. The hardest part of the whole process was the 'rip out my heart, cut off a piece, cook it up and eat it in front of me' moment when his parents, grandmother and brother came the next day to gather his belongs.

We always forget or pretend to forget the ripples of our using. The ripples of all the people who are affected by our using and all the people who will be affected should we overdose and die. The above mentioned case has not the ripples of not just affecting the family it has reached out and touched humanity. My prayer today is that we listen to what we are being taught.