Thinking

We have a disease of perception. Our thinking does not work like 'normal' people. True insanity is attempting to have a rational conversation with an addict while in active addiction whether they are using or not. Through the years of being clean and sober I have watched in amazement as my disease progresses. My first sponsor told me it would, I did not understand at the time, now I do understand. My experience has taught me to talk with another addict and or my sponsor if I have an idea. A few years back I was on the Beltway around Washington D.C. My thinking at the time, I was angry, told me to leave the rental car in the bumper to bumper traffic and to climb up the hill, find the nearest bar, get a scotch and find a connect. My, I haven't had a drink or used a drug today, sane side told me to call my sponsor and another addict. When I called them WE decide I was crazed at the time. I listened to them and drove on to my sons house in Philadelphia.

What continues to amaze me is my thinking has progressed way beyond where it was when I first got clean. When I first got clean I was always ready to go to battle, now my thinking is not only go to battle let's make Sherman's march to the sea look amateur. What is great is I can laugh at my self today and pick up the phone, say a prayer and or go to a meeting. The point in all of this is our disease never ever goes away. It is a gift to remind us daily we are not cured, only recovered for the day.