Desire

I have watched in the last three days friends make the decision to change their life. It takes much courage to raise your hand and admit you are and alcoholic and or an addict. Anyone can continue to use and pretend they do not have a problem. One of the lies I told myself was 'Get up, go to work and work all day, I have earned this drink or line'. The first person we lie to is our self. Once we have lied to our self it is easy to lie to everyone else. I watch as family members are stunned when there is a relapse or reuse. The disease of addiction never ever quits. My one friend had his life back, the good job, the car and the apartment and most important his connection with his Higher Power (HP). He has lost everything. What he has lost the most is himself. What people don't get, don't have to get is the thinking of the alcoholic. My friend has early stages of Cirrhosis of the liver. A 'normal' person would say 'I can't drink any more'. The alcoholic/addict says 'It won't happen to me'.  It is insane thinking which is what we become when we are drinking or using.

There are no simple answers, yet all of the answers are simple. I am always amused when doctors say they have a pill for addiction. Again 'normal' people would take the pill and be done. The addict would say 'can I have two'? We all get to practice everyday being real. The person we get to be real with first is our HP and our self. It is only when we have done this we take the first step of surrender and recovery. The simple answer each day is 'no matter what don't pick up, just today.'