One More Time

I was 45 when I hit bottom. I will never forget my last day using. I went to a meeting loaded, knowing that after the meeting I would get loaded again. After the meeting I went to my connect and initially begged him for a hit. When he said he wouldn't give me one because I was trying  to 'get clean' I told him if he didn't give me one I would kill him (True insanity). He gave me a glass pipe the size of my fist and I smoked it all. If it wasn't for my HP I would have died from the hit, there was enough speed in it to kill a horse. What I remember from the day is how ashamed I felt over what I had become. I never want to feel ashamed again.

I saw a fellow addicted this morning whom I have know for approximately 8 years. He is still out there. He is on probation, one more time. He has lost most of his teeth and he looks like death warmed over. I shared with him that he reminds me of myself and just maybe he is getting too old for the game. The longer we run after the dragon the faster the dragon gets. You will never catch the dragon, the chase will kill you though.