Excuses

We as addicts are pros at making excuses for our addiction and continued use. What amazes me is how we will get angry with someone then use that as a reason to use.  The way we perceive things we tell ourselves "I am angry at you, so I am going to hurt me." That is the level of insanity that we reach when we are deep into our addiction. Over the years I have paid attention to what happens when  one of us has a reuse. Inevitably the Universe reminds us immediately that we have a problem.

I have a friend who got angry and decided to drink again. He went an purchased food and was sitting in his car, keys in the ignition, eating. He was arrested for a DUI. This was the same day that he drank. I have heard this scenario over and over again. 

One of the things my friend shared with me is that he 'thought' that he had beat his disease 'forever.' When we spoke about it I shared that if I had to stay clean and sober forever I wouldn't make it and that I stayed clean and sober just today. 

When I first got clean and sober, if they had told me I had to stay clean and sober forever, I would not have  made it. My mind at the time would have 'thought' that that is way too long of a time frame. All that we have is today, just today. Tomorrow is another story.