Clean Again

I have a few friends that have relapsed and or had a reuse and have saddled back up into recovery. I am grateful they are still with us today. What is great to see and experience is the freshness of gratitude in someone newly clean. It is important for me to hear, once more, that using has not gotten any better out there. The one friend drank and the same day ended up in jail. The other friend drank and lost her housing and her job in a short time frame. I have heard and seen that story over and over again. 


The one friend, thought, her first clue, that she could drink normally. That lasted a minute. The other friend was angry so he was going to show how angry he was by destroying himself. That is what we do to ourselves. We are upset with another so we hurt ourselves. The sad part is the person we are using at has no clue we are angry. 


During the minute or two that I have been clean and sober I have learned how powerful my addiction is and that it has one goal which is to kill me. My disease wears many hats, will show up out of nowhere and will tell me what ever lie it thinks will get me to pick up again. When that happens I say a prayer, work the first three steps and call a fellow addict. When we talk about my idea, we decide that I am crazy and that we need to go in another direction.