Changing

My disease continually amazes me even after all of this time. Intellectually I am not amazed, emotionally I am blown away. I got angry in the car today. I have this belief that the Universe made air particles so that I can scream while in the car. My theory goes that the molecules do not take my yelling personally and they love bouncing around the car. I also followed the next indicated step which is to call my sponsor and talk about how my disease got to me for a nano-second and then we both laugh and relate.

Our disease never leaves. What changes is how we deal with our disease. Do we chose to use again? Or do we call a friend in the program and discuss how truly insane we have become in that moment, which is all it is, a moment, and then get on with our day? Because I have listen to the advice that others, who have stayed clean, I have taken the tools they so freely gave to me and applied them to my recovery and my life. 

It is okay to go through emotions. What is disastrous to us addicts is to use over those emotions. It is important to re-member that the emotions will pass. You using over them will pass also, maybe away.